Digital indulgences

divine_mercySure, you go to church, you pray, you read your Bible—Satan can’t lay a finger on you. But what about your computer? Do you think a pitiful firewall is going to slow down the Lord of Hell?

Now your worries are over. Thanks to DigiBless, you can sleep soundly knowing that your precious data is protected by a state-of-the-art Digital Indulgence™.

At our site you can have all of your electronic documents blessed … using our Holy Server. …we provide this service free to believers all around the world. All we ask, is a small donation to enable us to continue to spread the word and blessings of Jesus Christ, Our Lord.

Our server and algorithms have been specially consecrated, enabling them to bless any data which passes through their blessing algorithms. Increasingly the electronic world is becoming more and more polluted with sin, and evil, and this is a simple easy to use service which brings a little divinity to your online documents.

What could be simpler?! Just upload your files to the Holy DigiBless Server™ and let their inspired algorithms scrub away even the most stubborn demonic subroutines. Your code will come out white as snow. Er, most of the time.

From their Terms of Service:

DigiBless accepts no responsibiliy[sic] for the corruption in part or whole of any documents that are blessed using the Holy DigiBless Server.

Martin Luther died too soon.

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  1. Thanks, that’s funny, and I see you know your church history too (Luther reference).