Two kinds of people

There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind of people who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and everyone else. —Pastor Dan Johnson

schwinnThe divine Miss Jan at The View from Her is always worth reading. She says:

I have discovered over the years that there generally seem to be two kinds of people in the world. And these categories can be very distinct. There are Coke people and Pepsi people. There are dog people and cat people. Coffee people and…well, everyone else. Morning people and night people. And of course, there are PC people and…Mac people. (Read the rest at: Which Are You?)

Which reminded me of a sermon my friend Pastor Dan once preached. He said there are two kinds of people in the world: dividers and uniters. Dividers tend to view relationships through the lens of how we are different, whereas uniters are always looking for the things we have in common.

I’m a divider, and in case you’re interested, I’m a Pepsi, dog, tea, night, PC person.

My only beef with Jan’s post is that her categories barely scratch the surface—there are way more significant things that divide us, more weighty even than such labels as liberal vs. conservative or red-state vs. blue-state.

There are two kinds of people in the world:

People who feel some demonic compulsion to slather catsup all over their French fries, and people like me who prefer the pure, unadulterated taste of fried potato, lightly salted.

People who go through life driving slowly in the left-hand lane because their lives have no purpose and no one is waiting for them, and the people like me who are always trying to find a way around them.

People who prefer sleeping with the windows open, and people like me who burrow down under layers of blankets while gale-force winds roar through the bedroom. (Note to singles: this question needs to be asked very early in your relationship.)

People who think asparagus belong to a food group, and people like me who think asparagus were never eaten by any ancient civilization until the French came along—a people after all who also eat frogs, moldy cheese and fungi dug up by pigs.

People who only start digging in her purse for a credit card after the last purchase has been rung up and she has finished telling the clerk about the terrific deal she got on that silk blouse, and the people like me standing impatiently behind her with a single item in my right hand and some crumpled dollar bills in my left.

People whose bodies are hard and ripped from their daily workout with a Bowflex machine, and people like me who watch Bowflex commercials while scarfing down tortilla chips laden with guacamole dip.

People who think “bike” means a gleaming Harley-Davidson roaring down a lonely country road, and people like me who think “bike” means Schwinn.

What kind of person are you?

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  1. Hey Charlie:

    Well, first of all you ought to know that catsup is spelled ketchup, if you’re going to maintain any kind of blogging credibility.

    But I’m like you–I leave off the catsup/ketchup from the fries!

    I’m a diet Pepsi kind of guy, never Diet Coke, which tastes like some kind of polish remover!!

    I like both dogs and cats, though I own.. neither.

    Night person, but must force myself to not be one, on account of the fact of my 9-5 job.

    I like the windows slightly open for a little breeze– don’t like too many blankets or bedclothes, but my wife has influenced me into having to have three pillows, where I used to need only one. I start out hot and wake up cold.

    My wife, on the other hand, sleeps with 2-3 blankets, heating pad and 7 pillows, as well as bedclothes, and must have white noise as well. Doesn’t like a draft. She starts out cold, wakes up sweating.

    I happen to like Herbal Tea and also coffee, but am not fanatical about either.

    I drive too fast in the left lane for no good reason–I don’t like people getting ahead of me, is all.

    My brain is stressed from making detailed plans to begin exercising using the Bowflex machine that’s been gathering dust for years.

    I, too, am a “pay quick–get out fast” kinda guy.

    Funny post.



  2. Well done, Charlie! I thank you for the link, and must say you made me laugh out loud, which I appreciate even more. And for the record, I find those Bowflex commercials so annoying that when they come on I usually go to the kitchen for another Pepsi…

  3. Uh-oh. Looks like I’m in hostile territory!

    Diet Coke.

    Dog. Tea. Mid-day. PC. Ketchup on the side. Fast in the left lane. Windows closed when it’s cold outside and open when it’s nice outside–and lots of covers. Fresh asperagus lightly steamed–never canned or frozen. No shopping, but if I must, whip out the payment while being rung up. No Boflex. Leg-powered bike.

    Optimist (even though you didn’t ask).