There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind of people who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and everyone else. —Pastor Dan Johnson The divine Miss Jan at The View from Her is always worth reading. She says: I have discovered over the years that there generally seem to be two ... Continue reading
The red pill
January 13, 2006 By
I have a cold. Except, when I say it, it comes out "code.""I have a code in my doze."My head feels like it's the size of a watermelon. My nose is running and my trash can is overflowing with used Kleenex. I feel miserable.I had run out of Sudafed, so I drove down to my local Drugs-R-Us ... Continue reading
Resolved
December 31, 2005 By
My New Year's Resolutions for 2006:I resolve never again to launch a bowling ball over the roof with a trebuchet. And Harry, if you're reading this, again I'm very, very sorry about the Lexus.I resolve to stop making those retching sounds when my wife serves asparagus.I resolve never ... Continue reading
Whirled peas
November 3, 2005 By 23 Comments
Everything I know about English, I learned from Mick Jagger.Da-dah da-da-dah da-dah-da-dah-da (repeat)In the summer of 1965, all of us kids would jump up and play air guitar as soon as we heard that riff on the radio: I can't get no satisfaction,I can't get no girl with action.cause ... Continue reading
If I were the King of the forest…
June 24, 2005 By
Secretary Rumsfeld, as you know, we are in serious trouble in Iraq, and this war has been consistently and grossly mismanaged. And we are now in a seemingly intractable quagmire. Our troops are dying, and there really is no end in sight. And the American people, I believe, deserve leadership worthy ... Continue reading
Death prowls the Amazon!
April 2, 2005 By
Ed. note: This was to be my April 1 post, but... better late than never."At this pace, we'll never make it in time," Murry wheezed as he took another swing with his machete. His tan shirt was soaked through with sweat. As he paused to wipe his strong brow with a rag, he turned and looked back ... Continue reading
Court answers prayers of Darwin faithful
January 15, 2005 By
In a close call for Scientific Fundamentalism, a federal judge ordered an Atlanta school district to remove stickers from biology textbooks claiming that "evolution is a theory, not a fact." After a nightlong candlelit vigil in which members of the Cult of Darwin offered prayers to "Saint Carl" and ... Continue reading
Manichewitz disputes archaeologist’s claim
December 22, 2004 By
CANA, ISRAEL — In a story that has rocked the religious world, archaeologists believe they have unearthed pieces of the stone jars used by Jesus to change water into wine. But a spokesman for Manichewitz Wines® has called the evidence "dubious, at best."In the famous story recorded in the second ... Continue reading
