Swiss troops march on Liechtenstein

Under the cover of darkness, a crack Swiss commando unit penetrated deep into the country of Liechtenstein in what some are calling a test of the tiny nation’s defenses.

Tensions along the Swiss – Liechtenstein border have been running high for weeks over recent remarks by Liechtenstein’s Crown Prince Alois. Believing his microphone was off after a press conference in mid-February, the Prince is reported to have said “What is that stench? Ah, the winds must be blowing from Emmental again.”

The Emmental region of Switzerland is famous for its Swiss cheese, a product Liechtensteiners gleefully compare to ripe gym socks.

Despite Swiss demands for an apology, the Crown Prince has thus far avoided further comment and has not been seen in public. Anonymous sources report that he has taken refuge in his villa in the south of France.

Relations between the two countries have been strained for years as each nation competes for the same small pool of international terrorists and multi-billionaires seeking a safe haven for their cash. Two years ago, an income tax war broke out, with each government trying to undercut the other’s rates and increase its share of the filthy rich.

Nearby Austria has been doing a strong business selling motorhomes to the rich and famous, who freely move back and forth across the Swiss – Liechtenstein border in search of the best tax deal.

Both nations are militantly Christian but embrace differing views about the end times. Unconfirmed reports have circulated for years of Liechtenstein death squads operating on the border, but little is know about these secretive cults. One shadowy group calling itself the Anti-Calvinist Struggle has been blamed for a number of suspicious deaths. So far, the group has not taken responsibility for the bloodshed..

The United Nations will send 3,000 of its most cultured troops to the area in an attempt to diffuse tensions. Troops will serve Brie and wine at a series of peacekeeping events designed to break down traditional barriers.

Photo credit: Wikipedia